Sacagawea was the original milf.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
