im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
