I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
