Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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