You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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