yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
