I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
