I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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