Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He did a backflip because drugs
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
