Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
