Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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