oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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