You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
