she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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