Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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