this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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