Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
