so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
