When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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