It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
