forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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