do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
