And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
