You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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