So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
