Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
