Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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