Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
