Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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