i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well you can't waste a boner
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
