Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
