My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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