no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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