I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
