God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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