I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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