That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
