tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
