Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
