Whod you bang
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
