I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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