another moral hangover. fuck.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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