i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize