I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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