the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
