Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
