I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
