dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you would pick up someone in the library
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
