why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
