i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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