I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
