I'm really into asian looking animals
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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