I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
