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my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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